
"As a side note, umm... it's become increasingly apparent to me that despite the crap I write on this website, which unless you (yeah, you. No not you -- you.) are fucking retarded will realise is mostly a joke, that I'm not actually very good at hyping myself up, and have occasionally lost jobs to people whose work is crap because I haven't promised bullshit I can't deliver. There are people who can walk into a room, and tell clients exactly what they want to hear just to get the job, then deliver mediocre shit. I'm not one of those people. And I can't stand buzzwords.
So this current paragraph is designed to change all that. So brace yourself for the EDGIEST, GRITTIEST most cutting edge film YOU HAVE EVER SEEN, it will blow your mind! It pushes the envelope so hard it will give your boner a boner! It's so gritty and edgy, it actually takes "it" to the next level, even though nobody has ever, ever figured what "it" is before. Well I have! the "IT" we've all been talking about for years is MY FILM! It's so amazing it will refinance your home, enlarge your penis AND save the Whales. It's THAT good.
Now about that commercial. Did I mention I'm available to direct? The set will contain small traces of grit, and there will be visible edges on it. Any scenes shot in an elevator, I will personally take the crew up to the next vertical level and shoot the scene there instead. I will place envelopes on the set so that I can push them around with my bare hands. I'm even willing to cut the edges off those envelopes! Cuz that's just how I roll. Alternately just tell me what you want to hear, and I'll say that instead. Are we in synergy?
sold/out."
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